On the highway (journey) to success, there are many opportunities to turn off the path and get distracted or end up at a point you did not intend to. For some, getting off to explore is a good learning experience. What is key is knowing how to get back onto that highway after that. Sometimes just recognizing things you are saying to yourself that cause you to decide to “pull off” the highway to success, is enough to plan ahead. We are going to explore 6 common off-ramps people exit their highway to success.
OFF-RAMP 1: “I DON’T HAVE WILLPOWER”
Willpower is not just a thing you have or don’t have it needs help. A breakthrough is not just about will alone, it’s also about skill. You have to bolster your desire to stick to something with skills that help you make it easier to stay the course. Staying dedicated to a goal isn’t a trait that some people are born with, and others are not. It’s a practice, that must be worked at and earned every day. It’s possible to convince yourself that you “can’t” just because something is a challenge for you. Don’t mistake willpower for a core trait that you either have or you don’t. Cultivate it in yourself with patience, kindness and hard work—day in and day out.
OFF-RAMP 2: “MY WILLPOWER RAN OUT, MIGHT AS WELL…”
Willpower is a infinite resource. “People have really different conceptions of willpower; willpower is limited only for people who believe that it is limited.” Remember that your brain is a muscle, first and foremost. In order to improve, it must stay challenged. When you first begin making big changes in your lifestyle and habits, it feels easy. You’re excited! As time goes on, your initial excitement wears away, and all your left with is your willpower. Don’t believe in a false sense of limited willpower. Dig deep to continue renewing it every day.
OFF-RAMP 3: “I SUCK IF I CAN’T EVEN…”
You aren’t the best coach for yourself. “A critical inner coach is just as ineffective as the bad coach you had in high school.” Negative self-talk may feel like the way to get yourself motivated, constantly reminding yourself how disgusted you are with what you think you’ve become. But it doesn’t work in the long haul. If you’re engaged because outside sources are pushing you, you’ll eventually either rebel or quit when the pressure lets up. Learn to embrace physical activity as a stress reliever, mood booster, and way to give yourself a sense of accomplishment. That’s good coaching at its best.
OFF-RAMP 4: “THIS IS TAKING FOREVER…”
According to self-determination theory, we’re optimally motivated when we have three things going for us: autonomy, mastery, and social support. The element that often trips us up is mastery—the feeling of accomplishment that gradually comes with skill. As we begin to learn and grow toward our goals, we may feel like we’re just trudging along, working hard without seeing progress. It’s important to remember that mastery takes time. Malcom Gladwell once quoted Anders Ericsson that we become “world class” at something after 10,000 hours of practice. This shouldn’t feel overwhelming—it should feel like an opportunity to have fun and enjoy the process (we’ve all got a long way to go!)
OFF-RAMP 5: “I STILL HAVE ALL THIS FAR TO GO”
A series of small successes will hook you up into an activity. “if you start with goals that are too lofty, you’ll feel discouraged and give up much sooner. Start small and watch your progress accrue (leveling up).
When you’re ready to finally make big changes to your lifestyle, it’s tempting to dive in head first with the biggest goal imaginable. It’s admirable to want to push yourself, but keep in mind that starting small is the best way to build momentum toward your goals. If you start with lofty goals, you’ll feel discouraged if you don’t hit them right away. Level up your progress and work your way toward big goals by starting small. And remember, “small” doesn’t equal “meaningless”.
OFF-RAMP 6: “I’M SO BAD AT…”
Self-talk is going on 100 percent of the time. So when you’re faced with a difficult task, why not say I can do anything rather than beating yourself up? Positive self-talk improves performance. There are two different types of self-talk. Instructional and motivational. Instructional self helps maintain focus and proper technique. Motivational self-talk helps best in sports requiring strength and endurance. Both types work for beginners. Don’t use negative phrases like “this isn’t so hard” rather than focus on avoiding failure, focus on potential success like “this is manageable”.